Friday, November 06, 2009

2 years.....

No it is not anyone's birthday. But, I just wanted to look at this photo and remember someone's birthday. My mom's birthday was in June, on June 5th. We always had a nice summery party for her, usually a cookout, some type of outdoor activity, and a homemade cake. We would wrap her presents in the Sunday comics, and she would always be so appreciate of the smallest gifts. Even if it was junk, she would never throw it away, but always keep it and look at it and remember happy birthday memories.
2 years ago, yesterday, my mom died from cancer. It was one of the worst days of my life. November 5th forever shall be jaded in my memory. When I think of it, I think of grey. A grey room, grey cloudy light filtering in a grey shade through a grey window, the smell of grey medicine, and grey skin. I am sorry if that is too much for some of you, I know usually I am more cheery. But, I am giving myself a day to grieve, a day to hurt, a day to remember the pain. That was yesterday. November 5th will NOT be the day that I remember the good things, because there was little good that day. I remember good things about my mom everyday of the year, but not November 5th.
I encourage any of you who have lost loved ones, especially parents, brothers, sisters, and children, give yourself a day of grief. Yes, death for a Christian is only a temporary goodbye, but there is no harm in tears, in pain, in remembering the hurt for a day. There is something cathartic about hurting over the loss of someone you love. One day a year, let it out, give your hurt to God. Let the healer take your hurt and pain as your head hits the pillow. Wake up refreshed, relieved, and strong in the knowledge of a new day, a day of happy memories, a day of thankfulness for those He has given you.