Sunday, March 28, 2010

Forget and Not Slow Down

Clayton, one of our few nice days in March. I love the look on her face, she is determined to get into mischief.
I could not get Kenndall to cooperate.
Superman eating a Peep from Grandma Cross.
Clayton just looking precious.
Clayton looks like an angel when she sleeps, I love it!

As most of my faithful readers know, I love music! I listen to a lot of music, and I really love Christian music, (although Lady Gaga, Iyaz, Pearl Jam, etc. are definitely on my iPod) anyway, I also love looking at the lyrics of song and the story and meaning behind the lyrics of songs that I like. Two of my favorite groups are Sanctus Real, and Relient K. This song is a new one by Relient K, it is called, "Forget and Not Slow Down".

"Forget And Not Slow Down"

How many times
Can I push it aside
Is it time I befriended all the ghosts of all the things that haunt me most
So they leave me alone
Move on with my life
Be certain the steps of left and right don't fight the direction of upright

I'd rather forget and not slow down
Than gather regret for the things I can't change now
If I become what I can't accept
Resurrect the saint from within the wretch
Pour over me and wash my hands of it

It's time to decide
Which is out of my mind
Cause it'll be me unless I put some thoughts to rest and leave some faults behind
I'll watch the glint in my eye
Shine off the spring in my step
And could be blinding depending on the amount of You that I reflect

Cause I could spend my life just trying to sift through
What I could've done better but what good do what ifs do
There's something I should tell you now

As I get older and hopefully grow a little in the wisdom department, I realize the importance of two things. First, the concept behind this song, regrets cannot hold you back, spending time thinking about what you should of done, or how you should have made different choices will do nothing but make the reflection of Christ a little blurry. However, just as important as it is to leave behind your past failures, it is just as important to never forget how God works through mistakes, and failures to create beautiful lessons in your life. It is such a strange paradox that God forgives and wipes away all our past with His grace, and yet creates such an incredible change in our lives that the past can never be forgotten. There are many examples in God's word of memorials, places, times, feasts, traditions that all come from God's desire that we remember His great work. He has a way of turning the attention away from our screw ups, and creating an opportunity for us to glorify Him. "for though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again" Pr. 24:16. God knows we will mess up, God knows that we will fall. But, those that are wise get up. You get up again and again, no matter what. Even when you don't think you can, you just get up. Every mistake is an opportunity for a new beginning, and God is so ready to be right there and make the best from your worst.

Monday, March 22, 2010



Kenndall loves the song from Sleeping Beauty, "I know you", here she is singing it. Despite her recent bout with walking pneumonia, she is still singing!

Health Care Bill

I actually checked these facts out by reading an actual copy of the bill and they are true. My husband being a hospice nurse will be affected in a major way by this governmental mistake. Pray for God to intervene. Not just for my husband's job issues, but also for your own sake, unless you think the government should decide how your doctors care for you and how you live and die.

Little gems from the Health Care Bill ^

Posted on Friday, July 24, 2009 5:12:23 PM by CMS

• Page 16: States that if you have insurance at the time of the bill becoming law and change, you will be required to take a similar plan. If that is not available, you will be required to take the gov option!
• Page 22: Mandates audits of all employers that self-insure!
• Page 29: Admission: your health care will be rationed!
• Page 30: A government committee will decide what treatments and benefits you get (and, unlike an insurer, there will be no appeals process)
• Page 42: The "Health Choices Commissioner" will decide health benefits for you. You will have no choice. None.
• Page 50: All non-US citizens, illegal or not, will be provided with free healthcare services.
• Page 58: Every person will be issued a National ID Healthcard.
• Page 59: The federal government will have direct, real-time access to all individual bank accounts for electronic funds transfer.
• Page 65: Taxpayers will subsidize all union retiree and community organizer health plans (example: SEIU, UAW and ACORN)
• Page 72: All private healthcare plans must conform to government rules to participate in a Healthcare Exchange.
• Page 84: All private healthcare plans must participate in the Healthcare Exchange (i.e., total government control of private plans)
• Page 91: Government mandates linguistic infrastructure for services; translation: illegal aliens
• Page 95: The Government will pay ACORN and Americorps to sign up individuals for Government-run Health Care plan.
• Page 102: Those eligible for Medicaid will be automatically enrolled: you have no choice in the matter.
• Page 124: No company can sue the government for price-fixing. No "judicial review" is permitted against the government monopoly. Put simply, private insurers will be crushed.
• Page 127: The AMA sold doctors out: the government will set wages.
• Page 145: An employer MUST auto-enroll employees into the government-run public plan. No alternatives.
• Page 126: Employers MUST pay healthcare bills for part-time employees AND their families.
• Page 149: Any employer with a payroll of $400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays an 8% tax on payroll <>BR • Page 150: Any employer with a payroll of $250K-400K or more, who does not offer the public option, pays a 2 to 6% tax on payroll
• Page 167: Any individual who doesnt' have acceptable healthcare (according to the government) will be taxed 2.5% of income.
• Page 170: Any NON-RESIDENT alien is exempt from individual taxes (Americans will pay for them).
• Page 195: Officers and employees of Government Healthcare Bureaucracy will have access to ALL American financial and personal records.
• Page 203: "The tax imposed under this section shall not be treated as tax." Yes, it really says that.
• Page 239: Bill will reduce physician services for Medicaid. Seniors and the poor most affected."
• Page 241: Doctors: no matter what speciality you have, you'll all be paid the same (thanks, AMA!)
• Page 253: Government sets value of doctors' time, their professional judgment, etc.
• Page 265: Government mandates and controls productivity for private healthcare industries.
• Page 268: Government regulates rental and purchase of power-driven wheelchairs.
• Page 272: Cancer patients: welcome to the wonderful world of rationing!
• Page 280: Hospitals will be penalized for what the government deems preventable re-admissions.
• Page 298: Doctors: if you treat a patient during an initial admission that results in a readmission, you will be penalized by the government.
• Page 317: Doctors: you are now prohibited for owning and investing in healthcare companies!
• Page 318: Prohibition on hospital expansion. Hospitals cannot expand without government approval.
• Page 321: Hospital expansion hinges on "community" input: in other words, yet another payoff for ACORN.
• Page 335: Government mandates establishment of outcome-based measures: i.e., rationing.
• Page 341: Government has authority to disqualify Medicare Advantage Plans, HMOs, etc.
• Page 354: Government will restrict enrollment of SPECIAL NEEDS individuals.
• Page 379: More bureaucracy: Telehealth Advisory Committee (healthcare by phone).
• Page 425: More bureaucracy: Advance Care Planning Consult: Senior Citizens, assisted suicide, euthanasia?
• Page 425: Government will instruct and consult regarding living wills, durable powers of attorney, etc. Mandatory. Appears to lock in estate taxes ahead of time.
• Page 425: Goverment provides approved list of end-of-life resources, guiding you in death.
• Page 427: Government mandates program that orders end-of-life treatment; government dictates how your life ends.
• Page 429: Advance Care Planning Consult will be used to dictate treatment as patient's health deteriorates. This can include an ORDER for end-of-life plans. An ORDER from the GOVERNMENT.
• Page 430: Government will decide what level of treatments you may have at end-of-life.
• Page 469: Community-based Home Medical Services: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 472: Payments to Community-based organizations: more payoffs for ACORN.
• Page 489: Government will cover marriage and family therapy. Government intervenes in your marriage.
• Page 494: Government will cover mental health services: defining, creating and rationing those services.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Clayton praying


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Spring Break Fun

Brian's parents are in town for spring break and Tracy and her kiddos. We have had some great family time with them. We took a picture with the Easter Bunny, amazingly almost everyone is smiling in this one. Clayton was picking her nose for the first few pictures. Funny funny, anyway. I love my inlaws!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Pearl Jam- Just Breathe

Why am I just now hearing this song!! It is beautiful!

Here are the lyrics:

Yes I understand that every life must end, aw huh,..
As we sit alone, I know someday we must go, aw huh,..
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love

Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh,..

Stay with me,..
Let’s just breathe.

Practiced are my sins,
Never gonna let me win, aw huh,..
Under everything, just another human being, aw huh,..
Yeh, I don’t wanna hurt, there’s so much in this world
To make me bleed.

Stay with me,..
You’re all I see.

Did I say that I need you?
Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one knows this more than me.
As I come clean.

I wonder everyday
as I look upon your face, aw huh,..
Everything you gave
And nothing you would take, aw huh,..
Nothing you would take,..
Everything you gave.

Did I say that I need you?
Oh, Did I say that I want you?
Oh, if I didn’t now I’m a fool you see,..
No one know this more than me.
As I come clean.

Nothing you would take,..
everything you gave.
Hold me till I die,..
Meet you on the other side.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Reflections on Death

Wow, what a morbid title! But, with the passing of Gracie, and today learning of some friends from church having a late term miscarriage. I have just been wondering today. Wondering about God's view of our little lives and how He views death for us. God created us with hearts that can love to the point of bursting and hurt to the point of breaking. As we form relationships and love deeper and deeper over time, we realize that death and seperation from this person will bring on some pain. As people that we love die, we tend to focus on their pain, their suffering and our seperation from them as they pass into eternity. However God has a distinctly different view of death. For God, death is a beautiful thing. The person that dies is spared from a life of hurt, pain, and suffering, and given immediate access to the presence of He, Himself, the Creator of life. God views the death of those He loves as a precious event. (Ps. 116:15) He can see the big picture, He can see the future, He knows what is right for each and every person He created. It has been 2 1/2 years since my mother died. I look back now and I still hate the cancer, the suffering and the pain, the ache of seperation is still there. BUT, stronger than the pain and the hurt is my rock solid belief that God only wants good for every single one of His children. In Jeremiah, one of my favorite verses reads, "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." God has a plan for each of us, from the unborn to the old, from the healthy to the dieseased. He created each of us for a hope, a future. For God, death can be the future, the hope, the best plan for one of His precious children. As difficult as that is to wrap my human brain around, in my heart I know it is the truth. For God, death is our pathway to true life. I am so thankful that God has a plan for me and my children. I know that God's plan, whether it involves death or life will be the most beautiful pathway to heaven. I am so thankful when my life here is over, I can see all of those who have died before me, and I can be with God, my creator in a beautiful life that will never end.

This a picture of my mom holding Cooper right after he was born. You can see a little purple line on my mom's arm, it's her chemotherapy port. This was about a year after she was diagnosed with cancer. But when I look at this picture the pain and the cancer fade and all I can see and hear is the love and pride in her voice as she talked to my son. I think she smiled for a month straight after he was born. Death is just a gate, on the other side is paradise.

Tuesday, March 09, 2010


From Gracie's mother, Robyn

"Gracie entered Heaven's gates about 11:45 am today. I told her to go jump in Jesus's arms and then to Grandma! I know they were fully open with many people rejoicing and waiting for her. We will miss her but know that she is healed."

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. 6If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. 7And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
2 Cor. 1:3-7

Monday, March 08, 2010

Kids stuff


Watching a show.
Clayton's hair is getting long
My sweet girls.

We seem to have our routine and time flies by each week! I am so thankful I am not famous or really rich because it is so nice to have anonymity and quiet. I see the children of movie stars and I just feel sorry for them, it would not be fun to live under a microscope.
The kids are learning and changing all the time. They are all getting so tall, I am glad it will be summer soon, so they don't have to wear pants, because they seem to become highwaters over night! Especially Cooper, he is already in 4T shirts because his little body is just long. Kenndall needs a 12-18 month waist and 2T length, which is hard to find. Clayton is fitting 12 month really well now. I wonder how soon the girls will be in the same size? When I took them to the dr. the other day, Clayton weighed 21 lbs. and Kenndall weighed 25 lbs. Here in the next year I bet they will be almost the same size. I had someone ask me if they were triplets the other day. Weird. I think some people just aren't familiar with little children or are not observant. There is a huge difference between Cooper and Clayton's size. Oh well, it gave me a laugh.
So here are a few things that are happening with the kiddos.
Cooper. Very interested in superheros, loves to tell stories and read stories. His teacher at school says he is left handed! I kind of wondered, because he uses both hands for most tasks. He likes to cut left handed, so we will see. Neither Brian nor I are left handed. Interesting. Cooper loves to talk to everyone, he has never met a stranger and loves meeting other kids wherever we go. He also has become more observant about people, commenting on facial hair, gender, or skin color. He also says hilarious stuff a lot. The other day, he told Brian something at Home Depot cost fifty butts.
Kenndall. Right now, she likes to color and draw. She is learning colors at school, but is still a little confused, most everything is pink to her. She loves dresses right now and wants to pick out a dress to wear everyday. I don't care, she looks precious in anything. She is so sweet and kindhearted, she will share when others are not sharing, she helps me with everything, from laundry to dishes, to picking up toys, and she loves it. So I will take advantage of that as long as possible. She is a pleaser. She loves to make me happy. And when she wants to know how I feel, she asks, "Are you laughing?" and then if I say yes, she says, "At me?" Then if I am not happy with her she asks, "Are you sad?". She is a precious girl, but she does like to tease her brother sometimes.
Clayton. Clayton is just wild. She has no fear and falls off furniture several times a day. She loves to climb in the chairs in the kitchen and sit and stand on the very edge as precariously as possible. She pushes the limits of gravity. She also pushes my limits, I have to use continual reinforcement of house rules with her. Like, not getting in the trash, not pulling pictures of the shelf, not taking toys from others, etc. She tries everything she is not supposed to do at least once a day, just to see if I will tell her the same thing. Lately she has started saying, "heeya!" and trying to hit something or someone when I tell her no. So of course that results in more discipline. She likes to bug Kenndall and Cooper, taking toys, pulling hair, stepping on them or their stuff. Just for the sake of their reaction. Clayton is like me when I was little. So I will be paying for my raising with her. The great thing about Clayton is her drive, she is the most determined child, and one track mind, she focuses and doesn't stop till she gets what she wants. It amazes me! If I can only teacher her to direct that determination in positive avenues. She is also very loving, she loves her baby dolls and carries them around and hugs on them, puts them in blankets. So cute. And she loves to sing. She sings song from Superkids all the time. "If you love Jesus." and "This little light of mine" are her two favorites.
Anyway. I mainly just wanted to write down a few things for myself to remember about the kids. Sometimes life just goes by so fast, and I know I will forget so much.
God is good.
On another note, please continue to pray for Gracie Tidwell. She is still in PICU and will be for awhile, everyday she needs prayers. God is the God of miracles and I know he can heal her. He will do what is best for that sweet baby. It is so comforting to me to know that God only wants good for me and my children, that He can take evil and pain and create a beautiful healing out of them. God is good.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Gracie update

Here is what Gracie's mother just posted on Facebook.

Facebook Robyn Norris Tidwell:

"Sorry for keeping everyone in suspense! Gracie was in surgery about 4 hours and we didn't get any updates. About 5 pm Dr. Harrell came out and said that it was a very difficult surgery but that Gracie did fine through it. Thank you so much for all the prayers and thoughts today, in the past, and I know that will continue."

The doctor also said that the upper lobe of the left lung looked good. So that is one small victory! Praise God for answering our prayers today!

Gracie Tidwell update

Gracie is on her way into surgery right now. They are going to remove part of her left lung. They are hoping that this will give her a chance of survival. Your prayers are much needed, all day! God listens to each and every one of our prayers!

Monday, March 01, 2010

Pray for Gracie Tidwell!!

This sweet baby girl needs your prayers right now!! She has some heart problems and she coded this morning, she is in the cath lab right now, and she needs fervent prayers. Pray for her, her sweet parents Robyn and Todd, and the rest of the family. She is 14 months old. They go to church with us.